Why Domestic Violence Survivors Struggle to Leave

Written by: Amanda Briggs, Community Engagement Specialist at Rise Above Violence

For the third week of Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM), we are focusing on the reasons many domestic violence survivors struggle to leave their abuser. The choice to stay or leave belongs to the survivor. If they choose to leave, it can be a process that is slower than concerned family or friends might like. It is incredibly important to provide safe, non-judgmental support to survivors and honor their choices.

Tragically, the most dangerous time for victims of domestic violence is when they leave the abuser. In fact, about 75% of women who are murdered by their abuser are killed when they attempt to leave or after they leave. Survivors, who are incredibly aware of the dynamics of their abuser, are often deterred from leaving by this very real fear of harm.

Another reason it can be difficult for survivors to leave the abuser is because domestic violence can be cyclical in nature. There can be periods of peace where the abuser ceases harmful behavior, and the survivor might think their loved one has made it “through that phase” and enjoy experiencing the relationship they had before the abuse began.

There are many other reasons domestic violence survivors might struggle to leave, but the final reason we will focus on this week is the financial implications of leaving the abuser. Many people who perpetrate domestic violence isolate their victim, control the finances, and limit opportunities for survivors to make the connections necessary to escape.

It is crucial to put aside bias and judgment as we support survivors of domestic violence and remember they are doing their best in a terrible situation. Studies indicate that a key factor in survivor recovery is having supportive family, friends, and employers. Let’s commit, as a community, to providing safe, non-judgmental spaces for survivors.

Rise Above Violence invites you to continue participating in DVAM by supporting individuals and teams competing in the iRise adventure challenge and interacting with educational content on social media. Together, we can be a safe community for survivors to heal and thrive.